SimonSays.com

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I am wondering where in the world you come up with some of the things you put in your books and wondering if you may be guilty of doing some of these things at one time or another. The biggest ones that comes to mind is when Meredith uses a hot water bottle as an ice pack for Matt and also when she found a can of sweetened condensed milk and opened it and gave it to him to drink. Have you, by chance, done these things in the past? huh, fess up! I read somewhere that you are not much on cooking (that your best dish is cocktail weinies rolled in biscuit dough) and never really had an interest in learning as some of your heroines also don't know how to cook very well. I think I recall someone telling me a story of you fixing spaghetti for the first time and someone asked you for the colander, so, they could drain the noodles and you had no idea what a colander was, so, you used.... PANTYHOSE!

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Sorry, but I'm not nearly as interesting or witty as my characters. I wish I knew where I get some of these ideas, because if I knew where they come from, I'd go there a lot more often and get a lot more of them.

I plead guilty to the condensed milk thing. I tried to put that over on Michael when he was sick and--God alone knows why--wanted warm milk. I shudder to think of it. I can only drink milk when it's so cold it numbs my taste buds.

The red rubber bag idea just "occurred" to me because I remembered seeing one hanging on the back of a bathroom door in a farmhouse when I was about 10 or 12. Being extremely prim and proper and a city girl, too, I was deeply appalled when my mother told me what it was. But for comic appeal, you should have seen my mother's face when I asked her--I inherited being "prim and proper" from her.

By the way (ROFL) that was NOT a hot water bottle, unless they come with attached hoses.

I used that rubber bag in the scene in PARADISE because I needed Meredith to do something really, really shockingly funny in order to jolt Matt out of his dire mood.

Regarding spaghetti, a colander, and pantyhose...
How much was my friend drinking when she told you that story??

I do not cook any more, but spaghetti was one of the few things I did rather well, actually. I probably couldn't find a colander because I hadn't seen it in ten years, but I promise I have one. In my kitchen are four full size stainless steel ovens, two warming ovens, an overside 6 burner gas cooktop, and two dishwashers. Caterers love doing parties at my house. I also have several espresso pots I have no idea how to use, and a "Mixmaster" that weighs as much as my first car and costs almost as much. It's only been used a couple of times. I am the proud owner of nearly every piece of cookware that Cephalon makes. It's all like brand new. Most of it is unused, but you just never know...

I love gadgets, and I love entertaining, but I do not love cooking. The few times I've tried to cook for someone in the last couple of years, my timing was hopeless. Every part of the meal was ready on a different day.

You know...after having disclaimed the "wisecrack" about using pantyhose for a colandar, it's starting to sound horribly familiar. My God, maybe I did say that...but only as a joke, I assure you. Actually, I think I was asked if I had cheesecloth? or something that someone needed to skim the top off of melted butter or something, and I suggested they use pantyhose.

It may be the only one I did win!

ROTF

Thanks Ms. Judith!

I'd be more than happy to come over to your house and cook you a very Italian dinner. I'm told I'm a pretty decent cook and my Mom has taught me extremely well. And nobody cooks better than her.

How's that for a shameless plug, not only for an invitation to your home, but a chance to use all those really cool appliances!

I am so with you on the cooking Judith. I wish I liked to, but I have the worst timing instincts alive. It's amazing, I can cross a 6 lane street that looks like a highway w/the precision of a ballet dancer, but try to get a chicken dish and the vegetables to finish at the same time and I'm roadkill. I used to work for Crate and Barrel though so I have some of the coolest cooking gadgets.

Thanks for another fun answer.

Jennie

Posts: 5453 | From: Claymore with my beloved Royce | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged | 

I think the red bag was actually a d_ _che bag, but, for the sake of being polite, I didn't want to post it as this in my question. I am about 20 years younger than JM and I have seen this before and they do look much like a hot water bottle, except that the rubber stopper has a hose (usually white) coming out of it and the end is closed and rounded with various holes on about the last 4-5 inches or so of the hose. Women of older years would fill it with feminine cleaner (usually homemade) that would equal today's marketed feminine hygeine products. Hope I didn't get to graphic, but, since there seemed to need to be an explanation and JM did not tell us what it was, I figured I was being forced to enlighten the ones who didn't know and had never seen one. Now, the red bag thingy scene should make more sense as to why Matt Farrell wanted her to get it out of there, LOL!

CiCi,
I'm pretty sure it was an

enema bag

And that scene was so darn funny! I laughed so hard when I read it--I absolutely loved it.

Renée

Posts: 1295 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | 

Thank you for taking care of this for us. Lol! You know how we like to know every little detail.

Thanks Claudia.

Cin

Some things still make me blush though...one of my best friends gets a *huge* kick out of embarrssing me!

ROTF G, that is hilarious. I love your attention to detail.

JL

Posts: 5453 | From: Claymore with my beloved Royce | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged | 

Right before bed. I wonder what is going to creep into my dreams tonight. No such luck with just dreaming about Zack. No, I'll dream about Zack and this THING! Thanks Gretch. LOL Only you sugar, only you.

I can't believe you found a picture of it. This is so hilarious!!!

Sam

Picture this, 17 or 18 years old , its summer time and all of the college boys are home- they work for my father, also great friends with my brothers...and I am the only daughter and sister...Even though I liked being proper...and neat...I also felt the need to prove myself and be one of the "boys"...Talk about all the hay I have loaded in a life time...

* the girls I hung out with would never have believed me, had I told them*

But I would also do the cooking on most Fridays at lunch...I thought I was pretty good at it...until I made one Spaghetti dinner that they all never forgot...They all got sick...not like food posion sick...but like too much grease, or something??? heartburn and nausea...They had to stop working, came in the house and layed on any bed within reach...They never ate another meal on Friday...til this day they all still talk about that Spaghetti everytime I see them....

So you see some of us are still trying to even master that...lets not forget about the potatoes I burned the other night while writing about Matt...

Thanks for the clarity and increasing my knowledge once again. Who'da ever thunk one question could have ever openned up so much hilarity. I tried finding a picture, but, was out of luck. I guess the hose isn't always white as I thought. Thanks for the knowledge of devices used in days gone by. Does anyone actually still use this thing or still have one?

Claudia is quite right, they are the same thing. I've been googling this morning and if anyone's interested here's a link....
http://narang.com/instructions/douchebagset.html

I really can't believe we're discussing this LMAO.

And I can't believe I've just posted that link either....WARNING.....it comes with full instructions. This might be a little too much information for some of our more sensative DNs.

lol

Mal

[This message has been edited by Mal O'Hara (edited 01-06-2003).]

Posts: 7356 | From: Roarke Towers | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | 

What an interesting picture to scroll through on my work monitor. HAH!